If you have been invited to attend a wedding on the beach (and have never been to one before), then the prospect of picking the appropriate beach wedding clothes may have you befuddled. Most weddings are formal, or at least dressy, but this one’s on a beach!

Guys, should you wear a designer silk suit or tropical-print shorts? Do you comb your hair neatly or leave it wild and tangled in true surfer fashion? Ladies, should you wear those $500 red Prada pumps you save for special occasions – or would a pair of flip-flops do just as well? Normally, an oceanfront  ceremony is a more casual affair than a traditional church wedding. Beach attire for a seaside wedding is typically less formal as well.

If you are lucky, your wedding invitation contained hints for what to wear. If not, before planning your outfit, send a short email asking the bride and groom if they have clothing suggestions for the wedding. Beach attire with an upscale look is probably what they will recommend. No matter what clothing they suggest, they will appreciate that you are interested enough to ask…and that you are planning to attend!

If after asking you are still bewildered, here are some guidelines to help:

Beach Wedding Clothes for Men

Forget about wearing black – that color is typically reserved for the groom (although the restriction is usually not as rigidly observed as that of brides and white clothing).

A white, cotton, button-down collar shirt with dress slacks is usually a safe clothing choice for a less formal affair. If you’d feel more comfortable in a suit, go with linen slacks and jacket in a lighter color with a casual, striped shirt underneath – this will give you an air of relaxed formality and help you strike the perfect balance between casual and dressy. If you want to be more adventurous (or beachy) go with well-tailored cotton, linen or silk-blend draw-string pants or shorts and a tropical-print silk shirt.

For footwear, leather sandals are a good choice (though you want to make sure they’re open enough to let the sand out). Leather flip-flops work well too. It can be fine to even go barefoot, although that depends on how formal the occasion is and exactly what you’re wearing (you wouldn’t want to go shoeless if you were sporting an expensive linen suit).

Beach Wedding Clothes for Women

You want to be sure you don’t upstage the bride by out-dressing her. You have more freedom to dress up if it’s a formal wedding. Beach attire of the sort you might wear to an upscale resort is the best choice for a casual ceremony. Light-weight cotton or rayon skirts are ideal for tropical destinations. Wear these with island-style cotton or rayon tops in bright, primary colors for the perfect look. Well-tailored jersey dresses work well too.

Shorter dresses or skirts work best at the beach. Due to the environment, it’s generally a good idea to avoid long dresses and high heels, both of which make negotiating deep sand almost impossible. Add some stylish, understated “bling” such as an island-themed bracelet, necklace and earrings and you’re all set.

Sandals or dressy flip-flops with pretty painted toe-nails are perfect to complete the look. If you decide to go barefoot, wear a piece or two of attractive foot jewelry such as a toe ring, ankle bracelet or barefoot sandals. These work especially well if they are fashioned from sea shells, coral or other items with a tropical theme.